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City Population: 25,000
County Population: 500,000
County Seat of Hamm County
Proud Pig Farm Capital of Pennsylvania
E. Williams is a physician-author who writes heart-warming tales not meant to be taken too seriously. Each story is centered on a different resident of the fictional town of West Hamm, Pennsylvania.
Contact Dr. Williams by sending an email to author@westhamm.com and follow the author on twitter
Sippy Moynihan just wants a sophisticated retirement party for her husband. She doesn’t think that’s too much to ask after everything she’s had to put up with.
George Hubble’s finally ready for a little love in his life after his wife’s death. But is he still capable of finding it?
Martha Higgenbotham thinks she’s quite content in her little house, with her tidy garden and her knitting needles. So why does she not feel quite right?
Looking for a good publication home
The ebullient and irascible forensic pathologist Dr. Honey Hayes hosts her own reality television show on CRP-TV. Producers threaten its cancelation, so, in an effort to bolster ratings, Dr. Honey agrees to film a ‘very special episode’ in her best forgotten home town of West Hamm. Against her better judgment, Dr. Honey finds herself filming in the county coroner’s office, whose new coroner is none other than her old high school nemesis Dick ‘the Slick’ Cockburn.
Looking for a good publication home
Cici Schmecklewitz is a middle-aged divorcee who just wants to embrace her inner introvert.
Second place in PennWriter's 2018 short story competition
Looking for a good publication home
Lydia Witherspoon has just had her first baby, and the sleep deprivation and overwhelming sense of incompetence have driven her slightly insane. Why does everything have to be so hard?
Looking for a good publication home
Dirk Delacroix didn’t realize he yearned for a family of his own until he met the beautiful single mother Meg and her young daughter Saire. His efforts to win them over, however, are threatened by a dastardly turtle.
Looking for a good publication home
Cyril Witherspoon is a great-grandfather, family patriarch, and founder of a successful family business. But his age has unexpectedly caught up with him.
Looking for a good publication home
Bethany Hart has it all, only maybe it's a bit too much. A break should put everything into perspective.
Looking for a good publication home
Emily Moynihan, daughter-in-law of Sippy Moynihan, thinks her old college roommate will have all the answers to her life's questions.
Looking for a good publication home
Wendell Hubble visits his grandpa George's house, only to find that things aren't the way they used to be.
Looking for a good publication home
Wendell Hubble learns something new, and tries to share it.
Looking for a good publication home
Art's daughter and ex-wife have a new 'friend' in their lives, and Art doesn't like it.
Looking for a good publication home
After her husband's retirement, Sippy Moynihan is dismayed with his new life choices. She endeavors to put things back the way they were.
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SWING AWAY ADVENTURE ROPES COURSE
“Come Swing with Us!” Be it swinging, rappelling, or trapeze arts, Swing Away has all your rope adventure needs covered. On your next visit, make sure to plan a climb on the famous telephone pole, affectionately known as “the Pisser.”
Place of employment for Dirk Delacroix
Place of epiphany for middle-aged Martha Higgenbotham
In short stories: “Dirk versus the Turtle”,“For All the Marthas”, and "Art and the Goldfish"
-
HAMM COUNTY RECREATIONAL AREA
With the county’s second least polluted lake as its centerpiece, Hamm recreational park is the place to jog and practice those lunges. Plans are even in the works for a stretching area, complete with mulch! (Still under construction)(posted 1976).
In novel: Dr. Honey Hamms It Up -
SIPPY AND ALGERNON’S HOUSE
This home of Sippy and Algernon (most definitely not “Al”) Moynihan is smack dab in the middle of the premiere housing development in all of West Hamm: the Herbal Estates.
In short story: “Sippy Asks for Forgiveness” (March 2018, Edify Fiction literary journal) In short story: "Sippy and the Older Woman" (Strife and Harmony anthology)
-
GEORGE’S HOME
This is the brownstone of George Hubble, a recent widower who just wants to put a bit of sparkle back into his life.
In short stories: “George’s Mojo” and "What's Wrong with Wendell?"
In novel: Dr. Honey Hamms It Up
-
HOLY CREPE BAKERY AND CAFÉ
Smack dab in the middle of the upscale shopping area in central West Hamm (a.k.a. the Hoity Toity District), this bakery is known for its cupcakes. Local self-fashioned celebrity owner and baker Cecilia DiLorenzo was an honorable mention on t.v.’s Cupcake Combat! Frequent clientele include Sippy Moynihan.
In short story: “Sippy Asks for Forgiveness”
-
HAMM COUNTY SENIOR CENTER
Famous for its wide breadth of classes, including Abseiling for the Aged, and How to Weave Your Own Burial Shroud, the senior center is the happening place for all the geriatrics of Hamm County.
In short story: “George’s Mojo”
In novel: Dr. Honey Hamms It Up
-
HISTORIC HAMM TAVERN
Built by stout German immigrant Johan Hamm in 1762, this tavern was the first building in West Hamm, establishing the new town as the seat of Hamm County. It’s now the anchor of the historic downtown district, which has been experiencing a rather hopeful revival in recent years.
In novel: Dr. Honey Hamms it Up
-
WEST HAMM POLICE STATION
Proud police chief Lampoon works his officers hard to make sure West Hamm stays the safest place in Hamm County. They even just added a second police cruiser!
In novel: Dr. Honey Hamms It Up
-
BOB’S HOUSE
The home of Fire Chief Bob Nickelhoffer is set as far from the West Hamm ‘city center’ as possible. Fire Chief Bob, a.k.a. Little Bob, is the love interest of a certain Dr. Honey Hayes, forensic pathologist extraordinaire.
In novel: Dr. Honey Hamms It Up
-
LYDIA AND JASON’S HOUSE
The home of Lydia and Jason Witherspoon, and their infant son Isaiah, is the setting for many a sleepless night (for Lydia at least). Jason, the great-grandson of local plant wizard Cyril Witherspoon, spends as much time as possible these days at his job in Witherspoon’s Plant Emporium.
In short story: “Queenie’s Life Lesson”
-
WITHERSPOON’S PLANT EMPORIUM
The premiere garden center for the greater Hamm area, Witherspoon’s was founded in 1948 by local plant guru Cyril Witherspoon. A family run business, it is now a prime example of the flourishing small businesses here in West Hamm! (Be sure to follow us on Facebook: West Hamm Bus, and think of us when it comes time to start your business!)
In short stories: “Queenie’s Life Lesson” and “Cyril Just Wants to Be Heard”
-
MARTHA’S HOUSE
Martha Higgenbotham’s trim little house has the best garden around! Give her a couple of cats and a Talbot’s catalog and she’s one happy camper. Or is she?
In short story: “For All the Marthas”
-
POTT FUNERAL HOME
Hamm County’s most welcoming funeral home, run by the congenial (when he has to be) Dennis “Pops” Pott, the grandfather of the congenial (never) Dr. Honey Hayes and Pea Pott-Chesterton.
In novel: Dr. Honey Hamms It Up
-
PEA’S HOUSE
This home of Petunia “Pea” Pott-Chesterton and her husband (‘what’s his name?’) Alan, is conveniently located just two blocks from Pea’s aging grandparents. Though she keeps a lovely home, Pea finds herself spending many an hour at her grandparents', gently haranguing them over their health issues, and oh-so-gracefully leading the charge for a healthy and loving lifestyle (#soblessed!).
In novel: Dr. Honey Hamms It Up
-
HEGELBERGER FUNERAL HOME
The oldest and most deluxe funeral home serving the tri-county area, Hegelberger’s just recently expanded to a third location to cater to all your death needs. Reginald Hegelberger wants you to think of him the next time you or a loved one passes away.
In novel: Dr. Honey Hamms It Up
-
GRAMS’ AND POPS’ HOUSE
The life-long home of the beloved Dennis “Pops” and Millie “Grams” Pott, fixtures at the Senior Center, and owners of the Pott Funeral Home. On their son’s tragic death, they assumed the responsibility for raising their two grandchildren: the famous television personality Dr. Honey Hayes, and schoolteacher Pea Pott-Chesterton.
In novel: Dr. Honey Hamms It Up
-
CYRIL’S HOUSE
The home of ninety-two year old plant whisperer Cyril Witherspoon and his equally ancient basset hound Nellie. Cyril is the founder of that cornerstone of West Hamm local businesses, Witherspoon’s Plant Emporium.
In short stories: “Cyril Just Wants to Be Heard”
In novel: Dr. Honey Hamms It Up
-
WEST HAMM HIGH SCHOOL
Proud home of the West Hamm Hooligans (1984 football champs)!. We’re ready and waiting to cheer on the arrival of that next trophy (in anything, really).
Distinguished alumnae:
Richard “Dick” Cockburn, Hamm County coroner and owner of the Cockburn Funeral Home
Honeysuckle Pott, a.k.a. “Dr. Honey Hayes”, forensic pathologist and star of her eponymous show Dr. Honey: The Sweet Doctor of Death now showing on CRP-TV.
Cecelia DiLorenzo, owner of the Holy Crepe Bakery and Café and an honorable mention on t.v.’s Cupcake Combat!
In novel: Dr. Honey Hamms It Up
-
LETZ STRIP MALL
Shopping center for the less desirables.
In short story: “Cyril Just Wants to Be Heard”
In novel: Dr. Honey Hamms It Up
-
VISH’S FUNERAL HOME
Lovingly nick-named Joe Vish, due to his unpronounceable name of Ignjat Tsinamdzgvrishvili, this recent immigrant from the Republic of Georgia, just opened a beautiful Russian orthodox funeral home.
In novel: Dr. Honey Hamms It Up
-
SIRI’S FUNERAL HOME
Not only the only pet-and-owner crematorium in all of Hamm County, but the only United States location for an entirely green funeral (Ever dream of becoming one with a mighty pine tree after death? Our pal Siri Bjorkmann can make it happen for you!)
In novel: Dr. Honey Hamms It Up
-
COCKBURN FAMILY HOME
Family home of the infamous Cockburns, currently occupied by Tim Cockburn, his wife Vanessa, and their son Barney, after the death of paterfamilias Tony Cockburn. Tim runs the family business Cockburn Funeral Home, though the business is actually owned by his younger brother Dick “the slick” Cockburn. In other words, Tim does all the work, while Dick takes all the credit.
In novel: Dr. Honey Hamms It Up
-
BALTIMORE
Current home city of West Hamm native Dr. Honey Hayes, an assistant chief medical examiner at the Baltimore Medical Examiner’s Office. She also films her reality show Dr. Honey: The Sweet Doctor of Death here. Catch it on CRP-TV now!
In novel: Dr. Honey Hamms It Up
-
PHILADELPHIA
West Hamm is just thirty miles away from Philadelphia. But who needs the big city, when West Hamm is more than ready to meet all your cultural needs?
-
CORONER’S OFFICE
Actually a downtown office building, whose basement and first floors have been (not too thoughtfully) renovated to house the Hamm County coroner’s office. Current Hamm County coroner: Richard “Don’t Call Me Dick” Cockburn.
Place of employment for Barney Cockburn (Dick’s nephew), and Vanessa Cockburn (Dick’s sister-in-law)
In novel: Dr. Honey Hamms It Up
-
APARTMENT BUILDING
Hey ho! The latest in hip, vibing living, right here in West Hamm! Need a new place to jam? Be sure to check out the apartments in this renovated brownstone in historic downtown. Current occupants:
Dirk Delacroix, who is intrigued by the new occupants in the apartment above him: Meg and her young daughter Saire.
Cici Schmecklewitz, who is recently divorced and really just wants to cocoon, if only society would let her.
In short stories: “Dirk Versus the Turtle” and “Cici Accepts the Facts”
-
THE DUMPY DOG
Come on in to this happening night spot, where you can savor a smorgasbord of three different beers, and a choice of white or red wine! And be sure to be on the lookout for their music nights, highlighting such (once)famous bands as “Flock of Penguins” and “Simply Chartreuse”.
In novel: Dr. Honey Hamms It Up
-
PIG FARM
Just one of many area pig farms proud to call Hamm County home. Why not plan a vacation to the area and go on a local Pig Farm Tour? Fun for the kids, plus doggie bags galore.
-
WEST HAMM FIRE STATION
We are happy to announce Bob Nickelhoffer as the new fire chief and EMT! West Hamm City Council was pleased to lure Bob Nickelhoffer back to his childhood home to take up this challenging role to usher the city into a new era of fire safety.
In novel: Dr. Honey Hamms It Up
-
HAMM COUNTY FAIRGROUNDS
Proud home of the annual West Hamm Sausage Fête, now in its thirtieth year. Come on out to eat the world’s best weiners east of Lake Erie! You won’t be disappointed (and we’re pretty sure we got the number of port-a-potties right this time!)
In short story: “Dirk versus the Turtle”
-
THE BUTTERED BUNS
Forget Starbucks. West Hamm has the best coffee place around. Known for its frothy lattes and even frothier clientele, this place is frequented by the business elite of West Hamm (if there can be said to be such a thing).
In short stories: “For All the Marthas” and “Dirk Versus the Turtle”
-
THE LONG JUMP
The premiere location for all the area’s parachutists, the Long Jump has been in the business for a full six months, and will let anyone jump! Come on out for some fun (after signing your multi-page waiver) and see Hamm County as you’ve never seen it before! Also the site of Cici Schmecklewitz’s enlightening near-death experience.
In short story: “Cici Accepts the Facts”
-
FROSTY BOTTOM SKI RESORT
Don't let that name fool you! Sure, it's cold out on the slopes, but you'll be able to toast your buns in the resort's brand new lodge, built with authentically rusticated logs.
In short story: “Sippy Asks for Forgiveness”
-
THE BIJOU
This 'gem' of the downtown 'arts' district is the theatrical home of those ever-active West Hamm Players, the resident acting troupe.
-
BETHANY'S HOUSE
The home of Bethany, Hamm County's newest assistant district attorney, her artist husband, Scott, and their two children (whom Bethany loves with all her heart, she swears.).
In short story: “Bethany Gets Her Break”
-
EMILY'S HOUSE
The home of Emily and Brad Moynihan and their twins. Emily's determined to raise her kids right, though she's not exactly sure what that means.
In short story: “When It's Over, It's Over”
-
LIBRARY
Hamm County Library may be suffering from budgetary cutbacks, but you wouldn't know that based on energetic librarian Janet Brown's upbeat demeanor. Want to learn taxidermy? Or how about cockfighting? Janet and her mad reference skills will help you figure it all out.
In short story: “Cici Accepts the Facts”
-
HAMM HOSPITAL
Popped your top? Maimed a limb? Swallowed a birthday candle? Don't worry, Hamm Hospital is here to help.
-
A NEW LEAF
Check out West Hamm's used bookstore nonpareil, and turn over a new leaf with us!
-
THE GRUMPY GROCER
Foodies flock from thither and yon to this grocery store, run by the redoubtable Sir Humphrey Davenport of Beccles, England.
In short story: "Art and the Goldfish"
-
APARTMENT BUILDING
Known now as the Royal Purple, this apartment building has been acid green, cotton candy pink, and tangerine in the past. Aspiring tattoo artist Art recently moved here after his divorce.
In short story: "Art and the Goldfish"
-
SWING AWAY ADVENTURE ROPES COURSE
“Come Swing with Us!” Be it swinging, rappelling, or trapeze arts, Swing Away has all your rope adventure needs covered. On your next visit, make sure to plan a climb on the famous telephone pole, affectionately known as “the Pisser.”
Place of employment for Dirk Delacroix
Place of epiphany for middle-aged Martha Higgenbotham
In short stories: “Dirk versus the Turtle”, “For All the Marthas”, and "Art and the Goldfish"
-
HAMM COUNTY RECREATIONAL AREA
With the county’s second least polluted lake as its centerpiece, Hamm recreational park is the place to jog and practice those lunges. Plans are even in the works for a stretching area, complete with mulch! (Still under construction)(posted 1976).
In novel: Dr. Honey Hamms It Up -
SIPPY AND ALGERNON’S HOUSE
This home of Sippy and Algernon (most definitely not “Al”) Moynihan is smack dab in the middle of the premiere housing development in all of West Hamm: the Herbal Estates.
In short story: “Sippy Asks for Forgiveness” (March 2018, Edify Fiction literary journal)
-
GEORGE’S HOME
This is the brownstone of George Hubble, a recent widower who wants to put a bit of sparkle back into his life.
In short stories: “George’s Mojo” and "What's Wrong with Wendell?"
In novel: Dr. Honey Hamms It Up
-
HOLY CREPE BAKERY AND CAFÉ
Smack dab in the middle of the upscale shopping area in central West Hamm (a.k.a. the Hoity Toity District), this bakery is known for its cupcakes. Local self-fashioned celebrity owner and baker Cecilia DiLorenzo was an honorable mention on t.v.’s Cupcake Combat! Frequent clientele include Sippy Moynihan.
In short story: “Sippy Asks for Forgiveness”
-
HAMM COUNTY SENIOR CENTER
Famous for its wide breadth of classes, including Abseiling for the Aged, and How to Weave Your Own Burial Shroud, the senior center is the happening place for all the geriatrics of Hamm County.
In short story: “George’s Mojo”
In novel: Dr. Honey Hamms It Up
-
HISTORIC HAMM TAVERN
Built by stout German immigrant Johan Hamm in 1762, this tavern was the first building in West Hamm, establishing the new town as the seat of Hamm County. It’s now the anchor of the historic downtown district, which has been experiencing a rather hopeful revival in recent years.
In novel: Dr. Honey Hamms it Up
-
WEST HAMM POLICE STATION
Proud police chief Lampoon works his officers hard to make sure West Hamm stays the safest place in Hamm County. They even just added a second police cruiser!
In novel: Dr. Honey Hamms It Up
-
BOB’S HOUSE
The home of Fire Chief Bob Nickelhoffer is set as far from the West Hamm ‘city center’ as possible. Fire Chief Bob, a.k.a. Little Bob, is the love interest of a certain Dr. Honey Hayes, forensic pathologist extraordinaire.
In novel: Dr. Honey Hamms It Up
-
LYDIA AND JASON’S HOUSE
The home of Lydia and Jason Witherspoon, and their infant son Isaiah, is the setting for many a sleepless night (for Lydia at least). Jason, the great-grandson of local plant wizard Cyril Witherspoon, spends as much time as possible these days at his job in Witherspoon’s Plant Emporium.
In short story: “Queenie’s Life Lesson”
-
WITHERSPOON’S PLANT EMPORIUM
The premiere garden center for the greater Hamm area, Witherspoon’s was founded in 1948 by local plant guru Cyril Witherspoon. A family run business, it is now a prime example of the flourishing small businesses here in West Hamm! (Be sure to follow us on Facebook: West Hamm Bus, and think of us when it comes time to start your business!)
In short stories: “Queenie’s Life Lesson” and “Cyril Just Wants to Be Heard”
-
MARTHA’S HOUSE
Martha Higgenbotham’s trim little house has the best garden around! Give her a couple of cats and a Talbot’s catalog and she’s one happy camper. Or is she?
In short story: “For All the Marthas”
-
POTT FUNERAL HOME
Hamm County’s most welcoming funeral home, run by the congenial (when he has to be) Dennis “Pops” Pott, the grandfather of the congenial (never) Dr. Honey Hayes and Pea Pott-Chesterton.
In novel: Dr. Honey Hamms It Up
-
PEA’S HOUSE
This home of Petunia “Pea” Pott-Chesterton and her husband (‘what’s his name?’) Alan, is conveniently located just two blocks from Pea’s aging grandparents. Though she keeps a lovely home, Pea finds herself spending many an hour at her grandparents, gently haranguing them about their health issues, and oh-so-gracefully leading the charge for a healthy and loving lifestyle (#soblessed!).
In novel: Dr. Honey Hamms It Up
-
HEGELBERGER FUNERAL HOME
The oldest and most deluxe funeral home serving the tri-county area, Hegelberger’s just recently expanded to a third location to cater to all your death needs. Reginald Hegelberger wants you to think of him the next time you or a loved one passes away.
In novel: Dr. Honey Hamms It Up
-
GRAMS’ AND POPS’ HOUSE
The life-long home of the beloved Dennis “Pops” and Millie “Grams” Pott, fixtures at the Senior Center, and owners of the Pott Funeral Home. On their son’s tragic death, they assumed the responsibility for raising their two grandchildren: the famous television personality Dr. Honey Hayes, and schoolteacher Pea Pott-Chesterton.
In novel: Dr. Honey Hamms It Up
-
CYRIL’S HOUSE
The home of ninety-two year old plant whisperer Cyril Witherspoon and his equally ancient basset hound Nellie. Cyril is the founder of that cornerstone of West Hamm local businesses, Witherspoon’s Plant Emporium.
In short stories: “Cyril Just Wants to Be Heard”
In novel: Dr. Honey Hamms It Up
-
WEST HAMM HIGH SCHOOL
Proud home of the West Hamm Hooligans (1984 football champs)!. We’re ready and waiting to cheer on the arrival of that next trophy (in anything, really).
Distinguished alumnae:
Richard “Dick” Cockburn, Hamm County coroner and owner of the Cockburn Funeral Home
Honeysuckle Pott, a.k.a. “Dr. Honey Hayes”, forensic pathologist and star of her eponymous show Dr. Honey: The Sweet Doctor of Death now showing on CRP-TV.
Cecelia DiLorenzo, owner of the Holy Crepe Bakery and Café and an honorable mention on t.v.’s Cupcake Combat!
In novel: Dr. Honey Hamms It Up
-
LETZ STRIP MALL
Shopping center for the less desirables.
In short story: “Cyril Just Wants to Be Heard”
In novel: Dr. Honey Hamms It Up
-
VISH’S FUNERAL HOME
Lovingly nick-named Joe Vish, due to his unpronounceable name of Ignjat Tsinamdzgvrishvili, this recent immigrant from the Republic of Georgia, just opened a beautiful Russian orthodox funeral home.
In novel: Dr. Honey Hamms It Up
-
SIRI’S FUNERAL HOME
Not only the only pet-and-owner crematorium in all of Hamm County, but the only United States location for an entirely green funeral (Ever dream of becoming one with a mighty pine tree after death? Our pal Siri Bjorkmann can make it happen for you!)
In novel: Dr. Honey Hamms It Up
-
COCKBURN FAMILY HOME
Family home of the infamous Cockburns, currently occupied by Tim Cockburn, his wife Vanessa, and their son Barney, after the death of paterfamilias Tony Cockburn. Tim runs the family business Cockburn Funeral Home, though the business is actually owned by his younger brother Dick “the slick” Cockburn. In other words, Tim does all the work, while Dick takes all the credit.
In novel: Dr. Honey Hamms It Up
-
BALTIMORE
Current home city of West Hamm native Dr. Honey Hayes, an assistant chief medical examiner at the Baltimore Medical Examiner’s Office. She also films her reality show Dr. Honey: The Sweet Doctor of Death here. Catch it on CRP-TV now!
In novel: Dr. Honey Hamms It Up
-
PHILADELPHIA
West Hamm is just thirty miles away from Philadelphia. But who needs the big city, when West Hamm is more than ready to meet all your cultural needs?
-
CORONER’S OFFICE
Actually a downtown office building, whose basement and first floors have been (not too thoughtfully) renovated to house the Hamm County coroner’s office. Current Hamm County coroner: Richard “Don’t Call Me Dick” Cockburn.
Place of employment for Barney Cockburn (Dick’s nephew), and Vanessa Cockburn (Dick’s sister-in-law)
In novel: Dr. Honey Hamms It Up
-
APARTMENT BUILDING
Hey ho! The latest in hip, vibing living, right here in West Hamm! Need a new place to jam? Be sure to check out the apartments in this renovated brownstone in historic downtown. Current occupants:
Dirk Delacroix, who is intrigued by the new occupants in the apartment above him: Meg and her young daughter Saire.
Cici Schmecklewitz, who is recently divorced and really just wants to cocoon, if only society would let her.
In short stories: “Dirk Versus the Turtle” and “Cici Accepts the Facts”
-
THE DUMPY DOG
Come on in to this happening night spot, where you can savor a smorgasbord of three different beers, and a choice of white or red wine. And be sure to be on the lookout for their music nights, highlighting such (once)famous bands as “Flock of Penguins” and “Simply Chartreuse”.
In novel: Dr. Honey Hamms It Up
-
PIG FARM
Just one of many area pig farms proud to call Hamm County home. Why not plan a vacation to the area and go on a local Pig Farm Tour? Fun for the kids, plus doggie bags galore.
-
WEST HAMM FIRE STATION
We are happy to announce Bob Nickelhoffer as the new fire chief and EMT! West Hamm City Council was pleased to lure Bob Nickelhoffer back to his childhood home to take up this challenging role to usher the city into a new era of fire safety.
In novel: Dr. Honey Hamms It Up
-
HAMM COUNTY FAIRGROUNDS
Proud home of the annual West Hamm Sausage Fête, now in its thirtieth year. Come on out to eat the world’s best weiners east of Lake Erie! You won’t be disappointed (and we’re pretty sure we got the number of port-a-potties right this time!)
In short story: “Dirk versus the Turtle”
-
THE BUTTERED BUNS
Forget Starbucks. West Hamm has the best coffee place around. Known for its frothy lattes and even frothier clientele, this place is frequented by the business elite of West Hamm (if there can be said to be such a thing).
In short stories: “For All the Marthas” and “Dirk Versus the Turtle”
-
THE LONG JUMP
The premiere location for all the area’s parachutists, the Long Jump has been in the business for a full six months, and will let anyone jump! Come on out for some fun (after signing your multi-page waiver) and see Hamm County as you’ve never seen it before! Also the site of Cici Schmecklewitz’s enlightening near-death experience.
In short story: “Cici Accepts the Facts”
-
FROSTY BOTTOM SKI RESORT
Don't let that name fool you! Sure, it's cold out on the slopes, but you'll be able to toast your buns in the resort's brand new lodge, built with authentically rusticated logs.
In short story: “Sippy Asks for Forgiveness”
-
THE BIJOU
This 'gem' of the downtown 'arts' district is the theatrical home of those ever-active West Hamm Players, the resident acting troupe.
-
BETHANY'S HOUSE
The home of Bethany, Hamm County's newest assistant district attorney, her artist husband, Scott, and their two children (whom Bethany loves with all her heart, she swears.).
In short story: “Bethany Gets Her Break”
-
EMILY'S HOUSE
The home of Emily and Brad Moynihan and their twins. Emily's determined to raise her kids right, though she's not exactly sure what that means.
In short story: “When It's Over, It's Over”
-
LIBRARY
Hamm County Library may be suffering from budgetary cutbacks, but you wouldn't know that based on energetic librarian Janet Brown's upbeat demeanor. Want to learn taxidermy? Or how about cockfighting? Janet and her mad reference skills will help you figure it all out.
In short story: “Cici Accepts the Facts”
-
HAMM HOSPITAL
Popped your top? Maimed a limb? Swallowed a birthday candle? Don't worry, Hamm Hospital is here to help.
-
A NEW LEAF
Check out West Hamm's used bookstore nonpareil, and turn over a new leaf with us!
-
THE GRUMPY GROCER
Foodies flock from thither and yon to this grocery store, run by the redoubtable Sir Humphrey Davenport of Beccles, England.
In short story: "Art and the Goldfish"
-
APARTMENT BUILDING
Known now as the Royal Purple, this apartment building has been acid green, cotton candy pink, and tangerine in the past. Aspiring tattoo artist Art recently moved here after his divorce.
In short story: "Art and the Goldfish"
-
SWING AWAY ADVENTURE ROPES COURSE
“Come Swing with Us!” Be it swinging, rappelling, or trapeze arts, Swing Away has all your rope adventure needs covered. On your next visit, make sure to plan a climb on the famous telephone pole, affectionately known as “the Pisser.”
Place of employment for Dirk Delacroix
Place of epiphany for middle-aged Martha Higgenbotham
In short stories: “Dirk versus the Turtle”, “For All the Marthas”, and "Art and the Goldfish"
-
HAMM COUNTY RECREATIONAL AREA
With the county’s second least polluted lake as its centerpiece, Hamm recreational park is the place to jog and practice those lunges. Plans are even in the works for a stretching area, complete with mulch! (Still under construction)(posted 1976).
In novel: Dr. Honey Hamms It Up -
SIPPY AND ALGERNON’S HOUSE
This home of Sippy and Algernon (most definitely not “Al”) Moynihan is smack dab in the middle of the premiere housing development in all of West Hamm: the Herbal Estates.
In short story: “Sippy Asks for Forgiveness” (March 2018, Edify Fiction literary journal)
-
GEORGE’S HOME
This is the brownstone of George Hubble, a recent widower who wants to put a bit of sparkle back into his life.
In short stories: “George’s Mojo” and "What's Wrong with Wendell?"
In novel: Dr. Honey Hamms It Up
-
HOLY CREPE BAKERY AND CAFÉ
Smack dab in the middle of the upscale shopping area in central West Hamm (a.k.a. the Hoity Toity District), this bakery is known for its cupcakes. Local self-fashioned celebrity owner and baker Cecilia DiLorenzo was an honorable mention on t.v.’s Cupcake Combat! Frequent clientele include Sippy Moynihan.
In short story: “Sippy Asks for Forgiveness”
-
HAMM COUNTY SENIOR CENTER
Famous for its wide breadth of classes, including Abseiling for the Aged, and How to Weave Your Own Burial Shroud, the senior center is the happening place for all the geriatrics of Hamm County.
In short story: “George’s Mojo”
In novel: Dr. Honey Hamms It Up
-
HISTORIC HAMM TAVERN
Built by stout German immigrant Johan Hamm in 1762, this tavern was the first building in West Hamm, establishing the new town as the seat of Hamm County. It’s now the anchor of the historic downtown district, which has been experiencing a rather hopeful revival in recent years.
In novel: Dr. Honey Hamms it Up
-
WEST HAMM POLICE STATION
Proud police chief Lampoon works his officers hard to make sure West Hamm stays the safest place in Hamm County. They even just added a second police cruiser!
In novel: Dr. Honey Hamms It Up
-
BOB’S HOUSE
The home of Fire Chief Bob Nickelhoffer is set as far from the West Hamm ‘city center’ as possible. Fire Chief Bob, a.k.a. Little Bob, is the love interest of a certain Dr. Honey Hayes, forensic pathologist extraordinaire.
In novel: Dr. Honey Hamms It Up
-
LYDIA AND JASON’S HOUSE
The home of Lydia and Jason Witherspoon, and their infant son Isaiah, is the setting for many a sleepless night (for Lydia at least). Jason, the great-grandson of local plant wizard Cyril Witherspoon, spends as much time as possible these days at his job in Witherspoon’s Plant Emporium.
In short story: “Queenie’s Life Lesson”
-
WITHERSPOON’S PLANT EMPORIUM
The premiere garden center for the greater Hamm area, Witherspoon’s was founded in 1948 by local plant guru Cyril Witherspoon. A family run business, it is now a prime example of the flourishing small businesses here in West Hamm! (Be sure to follow us on Facebook: West Hamm Bus, and think of us when it comes time to start your business!)
In short stories: “Queenie’s Life Lesson” and “Cyril Just Wants to Be Heard”
-
MARTHA’S HOUSE
Martha Higgenbotham’s trim little house has the best garden around! Give her a couple of cats and a Talbot’s catalog and she’s one happy camper. Or is she?
In short story: “For All the Marthas”
-
POTT FUNERAL HOME
Hamm County’s most welcoming funeral home, run by the congenial (when he has to be) Dennis “Pops” Pott, the grandfather of the congenial (never) Dr. Honey Hayes and Pea Pott-Chesterton.
In novel: Dr. Honey Hamms It Up
-
PEA’S HOUSE
This home of Petunia “Pea” Pott-Chesterton and her husband (‘what’s his name?’) Alan, is conveniently located just two blocks from Pea’s aging grandparents. Though she keeps a lovely home, Pea finds herself spending many an hour at her grandparents, gently haranguing them about their health issues, and oh-so-gracefully leading the charge for a healthy and loving lifestyle (#soblessed!).
In novel: Dr. Honey Hamms It Up
-
HEGELBERGER FUNERAL HOME
The oldest and most deluxe funeral home serving the tri-county area, Hegelberger’s just recently expanded to a third location to cater to all your death needs. Reginald Hegelberger wants you to think of him the next time you or a loved one passes away.
In novel: Dr. Honey Hamms It Up
-
GRAMS’ AND POPS’ HOUSE
The life-long home of the beloved Dennis “Pops” and Millie “Grams” Pott, fixtures at the Senior Center, and owners of the Pott Funeral Home. On their son’s tragic death, they assumed the responsibility for raising their two grandchildren: the famous television personality Dr. Honey Hayes, and schoolteacher Pea Pott-Chesterton.
In novel: Dr. Honey Hamms It Up
-
CYRIL’S HOUSE
The home of ninety-two year old plant whisperer Cyril Witherspoon and his equally ancient basset hound Nellie. Cyril is the founder of that cornerstone of West Hamm local businesses, Witherspoon’s Plant Emporium.
In short stories: “Cyril Just Wants to Be Heard”
In novel: Dr. Honey Hamms It Up
-
WEST HAMM HIGH SCHOOL
Proud home of the West Hamm Hooligans (1984 football champs)!. We’re ready and waiting to cheer on the arrival of that next trophy (in anything, really).
Distinguished alumnae:
Richard “Dick” Cockburn, Hamm County coroner and owner of the Cockburn Funeral Home
Honeysuckle Pott, a.k.a. “Dr. Honey Hayes”, forensic pathologist and star of her eponymous show Dr. Honey: The Sweet Doctor of Death now showing on CRP-TV.
Cecelia DiLorenzo, owner of the Holy Crepe Bakery and Café and an honorable mention on t.v.’s Cupcake Combat!
In novel: Dr. Honey Hamms It Up
-
LETZ STRIP MALL
Shopping center for the less desirables.
In short story: “Cyril Just Wants to Be Heard”
In novel: Dr. Honey Hamms It Up
-
VISH’S FUNERAL HOME
Lovingly nick-named Joe Vish, due to his unpronounceable name of Ignjat Tsinamdzgvrishvili, this recent immigrant from the Republic of Georgia, just opened this beautiful Russian orthodox funeral home.
In novel: Dr. Honey Hamms It Up
-
SIRI’S FUNERAL HOME
Not only the only pet-and-owner crematorium in all of Hamm County, but the only United States location for an entirely green funeral (Ever dream of becoming one with a mighty pine tree after death? Our pal Siri Bjorkmann can make it happen for you!)
In novel: Dr. Honey Hamms It Up
-
COCKBURN FAMILY HOME
Family home of the infamous Cockburns, currently occupied by Tim Cockburn, his wife Vanessa, and their son Barney, after the death of paterfamilias Tony Cockburn. Tim runs the family business Cockburn Funeral Home, though the business is actually owned by his younger brother Dick “the slick” Cockburn. In other words, Tim does all the work, while Dick takes all the credit.
In novel: Dr. Honey Hamms It Up
-
BALTIMORE
Current home city of West Hamm native Dr. Honey Hayes, an assistant chief medical examiner at the Baltimore Medical Examiner’s Office. She also films her reality show Dr. Honey: The Sweet Doctor of Death here. Catch it on CRP-TV now!
In novel: Dr. Honey Hamms It Up
-
PHILADELPHIA
West Hamm is just thirty miles away from Philadelphia. But who needs the big city, when West Hamm is more than ready to meet all your cultural needs?
-
CORONER’S OFFICE
Actually a downtown office building, whose basement and first floors have been (not too thoughtfully) renovated to house the Hamm County coroner’s office. Current Hamm County coroner: Richard “Don’t Call Me Dick” Cockburn.
Place of employment for Barney Cockburn (Dick’s nephew), and Vanessa Cockburn (Dick’s sister-in-law)
In novel: Dr. Honey Hamms It Up
-
APARTMENT BUILDING
Hey ho! The latest in hip, vibing living, right here in West Hamm! Need a new place to jam? Be sure to check out the apartments in this renovated brownstone in historic downtown. Current occupants:
Dirk Delacroix, who is intrigued by the new occupants in the apartment above him: Meg and her young daughter Saire.
Cici Schmecklewitz, who is recently divorced and really just wants to cocoon, if only society would let her.
In short stories: “Dirk Versus the Turtle” and “Cici Accepts the Facts”
-
THE DUMPY DOG
Come on in to this happening night spot, where you can savor a smorgasbord of three different beers, and white or red wine. And be sure to be on the lookout for their music nights, highlighting such (once)famous bands as “Flock of Penguins” and “Simply Chartreuse”.
In novel: Dr. Honey Hamms It Up
-
PIG FARM
Just one of many area pig farms proud to call Hamm County home. Why not plan a vacation to the area and go on a local Pig Farm Tour? Fun for the kids, plus doggie bags galore.
-
WEST HAMM FIRE STATION
We are happy to announce Bob Nickelhoffer as the new fire chief and EMT! West Hamm City Council was pleased to lure Bob Nickelhoffer back to his childhood home to take up this challenging role to usher the city into a new era of fire safety.
In novel: Dr. Honey Hamms It Up
-
HAMM COUNTY FAIRGROUNDS
Proud home of the annual West Hamm Sausage Fête, now in its thirtieth year. Come on out to eat the world’s best weiners east of Lake Erie! You won’t be disappointed (and we’re pretty sure we got the number of port-a-potties right this time!)
In short story: “Dirk versus the Turtle”
-
THE BUTTERED BUNS
Forget Starbucks. West Hamm has the best coffee place around. Known for its frothy lattes and even frothier clientele, this place is frequented by the business elite of West Hamm (if there can be said to be such a thing).
In short stories: “For All the Marthas” and “Dirk Versus the Turtle”
-
THE LONG JUMP
The premiere location for all the area’s parachutists, the Long Jump has been in the business for a full six months, and will let anyone jump! Come on out for some fun (after signing your multi-page waiver) and see Hamm County as you’ve never seen it before! Also the site of Cici Schmecklewitz’s enlightening near-death experience.
In short story: “Cici Accepts the Facts”
-
FROSTY BOTTOM SKI RESORT
Don't let that name fool you! Sure, it's cold out on the slopes, but you'll be able to toast your buns in the resort's brand new lodge, built with authentically rusticated logs.
In short story: “Sippy Asks for Forgiveness”
-
THE BIJOU
This 'gem' of the downtown 'arts' district is the theatrical home of those ever-active West Hamm Players, the resident acting troupe.
-
BETHANY'S HOUSE
The home of Bethany, Hamm County's newest assistant district attorney, her artist husband, Scott, and their two children (whom Bethany loves with all her heart, she swears.).
In short story: “Bethany Gets Her Break”
-
EMILY'S HOUSE
The home of Emily and Brad Moynihan and their twins. Emily's determined to raise her kids right, though she's not exactly sure what that means.
In short story: “When It's Over, It's Over”
-
LIBRARY
Hamm County Library may be suffering from budgetary cutbacks, but you wouldn't know that based on energetic librarian Janet Brown's upbeat demeanor. Want to learn taxidermy? Or how about cockfighting? Janet and her mad reference skills will help you figure it all out.
In short story: “Cici Accepts the Facts”
-
HAMM HOSPITAL
Popped your top? Maimed a limb? Swallowed a birthday candle? Don't worry, Hamm Hospital is here to help.
-
A NEW LEAF
Check out West Hamm's used bookstore nonpareil, and turn over a new leaf with us!
-
THE GRUMPY GROCER
Foodies flock from thither and yon to this grocery store, run by the redoubtable Sir Humphrey Davenport of Beccles, England.
In short story: "Art and the Goldfish"
-
APARTMENT BUILDING
Known now as the Royal Purple, this apartment building has been acid green, cotton candy pink, and tangerine in the past. Aspiring tattoo artist Art recently moved here after his divorce.
In short story: "Art and the Goldfish"
-
SWING AWAY ADVENTURE ROPES COURSE
“Come Swing with Us!” Be it swinging, rappelling, or trapeze arts, Swing Away has all your rope adventure needs covered. On your next visit, make sure to plan a climb on the famous telephone pole, affectionately known as “the Pisser.”
Place of employment for Dirk Delacroix
Place of epiphany for middle-aged Martha Higgenbotham
In short stories: “Dirk versus the Turtle”, “For All the Marthas” and "Art and the Goldfish"
-
HAMM COUNTY RECREATIONAL AREA
With the county’s second least polluted lake as its centerpiece, Hamm recreational park is the place to jog and practice those lunges. Plans are even in the works for a stretching area, complete with mulch! (Still under construction)(posted 1976).
In novel: Dr. Honey Hamms It Up -
SIPPY AND ALGERNON’S HOUSE
This home of Sippy and Algernon (most definitely not “Al”) Moynihan is smack dab in the middle of the premiere housing development in all of West Hamm: the Herbal Estates.
In short story: “Sippy Asks for Forgiveness” (March 2018, Edify Fiction literary journal)
-
GEORGE’S HOME
This is the brownstone of George Hubble, a recent widower who wants to put a bit of sparkle back into his life.
In short stories: “George’s Mojo” and "What's Wrong with Wendell?"
In novel: Dr. Honey Hamms It Up
-
HOLY CREPE BAKERY AND CAFÉ
Smack dab in the middle of the upscale shopping area in central West Hamm (a.k.a. the Hoity Toity District), this bakery is known for its cupcakes. Local self-fashioned celebrity owner and baker Cecilia DiLorenzo was an honorable mention on t.v.’s Cupcake Combat! Frequent clientele include Sippy Moynihan.
In short story: “Sippy Asks for Forgiveness”
-
HAMM COUNTY SENIOR CENTER
Famous for its wide breadth of classes, including Abseiling for the Aged, and How to Weave Your Own Burial Shroud, the senior center is the happening place for all the geriatrics of Hamm County.
In short story: “George’s Mojo”
In novel: Dr. Honey Hamms It Up
-
HISTORIC HAMM TAVERN
Built by stout German immigrant Johan Hamm in 1762, this tavern was the first building in West Hamm, establishing the new town as the seat of Hamm County. It’s now the anchor of the historic downtown district, which has been experiencing a rather hopeful revival in recent years.
In novel: Dr. Honey Hamms it Up
-
WEST HAMM POLICE STATION
Proud police chief Lampoon works his officers hard to make sure West Hamm stays the safest place in Hamm County. They even just added a second police cruiser!
In novel: Dr. Honey Hamms It Up
-
BOB’S HOUSE
The home of Fire Chief Bob Nickelhoffer is set as far from the West Hamm ‘city center’ as possible. Fire Chief Bob, a.k.a. Little Bob, is the love interest of a certain Dr. Honey Hayes, forensic pathologist extraordinaire.
In novel: Dr. Honey Hamms It Up
-
LYDIA AND JASON’S HOUSE
The home of Lydia and Jason Witherspoon, and their infant son Isaiah, is the setting for many a sleepless night (for Lydia at least). Jason, the great-grandson of local plant wizard Cyril Witherspoon, spends as much time as possible these days at his job in Witherspoon’s Plant Emporium.
In short story: “Queenie’s Life Lesson”
-
WITHERSPOON’S PLANT EMPORIUM
The premiere garden center for the greater Hamm area, Witherspoon’s was founded in 1948 by local plant guru Cyril Witherspoon. A family run business, it is now a prime example of the flourishing small businesses here in West Hamm! (Be sure to follow us on Facebook: West Hamm Bus, and think of us when it comes time to start your business!)
In short stories: “Queenie’s Life Lesson” and “Cyril Just Wants to Be Heard”
-
MARTHA’S HOUSE
Martha Higgenbotham’s trim little house has the best garden around! Give her a couple of cats and a Talbot’s catalog and she’s one happy camper. Or is she?
In short story: “For All the Marthas”
-
POTT FUNERAL HOME
Hamm County’s most welcoming funeral home, run by the congenial (when he has to be) Dennis “Pops” Pott, the grandfather of the congenial (never) Dr. Honey Hayes and Pea Pott-Chesterton.
In novel: Dr. Honey Hamms It Up
-
PEA’S HOUSE
This home of Petunia “Pea” Pott-Chesterton and her husband (‘what’s his name?’) Alan, is conveniently located just two blocks from Pea’s aging grandparents. Though she keeps a lovely home, Pea finds herself spending many an hour at her grandparents, gently haranguing them about their health issues, and oh-so-gracefully leading the charge for a healthy and loving lifestyle (#soblessed!).
In novel: Dr. Honey Hamms It Up
-
HEGELBERGER FUNERAL HOME
The oldest and most deluxe funeral home serving the tri-county area, Hegelberger’s just recently expanded to a third location to cater to all your death needs. Reginald Hegelberger wants you to think of him the next time you or a loved one passes away.
In novel: Dr. Honey Hamms It Up
-
GRAMS’ AND POPS’ HOUSE
The life-long home of the beloved Dennis “Pops” and Millie “Grams” Pott, fixtures at the Senior Center, and owners of the Pott Funeral Home. On their son’s tragic death, they assumed the responsibility for raising their two grandchildren: the famous television personality Dr. Honey Hayes, and schoolteacher Pea Pott-Chesterton.
In novel: Dr. Honey Hamms It Up
-
CYRIL’S HOUSE
The home of ninety-two year old plant whisperer Cyril Witherspoon and his equally ancient basset hound Nellie. Cyril is the founder of that cornerstone of West Hamm local businesses, Witherspoon’s Plant Emporium.
In short stories: “Cyril Just Wants to Be Heard”
In novel: Dr. Honey Hamms It Up
-
WEST HAMM HIGH SCHOOL
Proud home of the West Hamm Hooligans (1984 football champs)!. We’re ready and waiting to cheer on the arrival of that next trophy (in anything, really).
Distinguished alumnae:
Richard “Dick” Cockburn, Hamm County coroner and owner of the Cockburn Funeral Home
Honeysuckle Pott, a.k.a. “Dr. Honey Hayes”, forensic pathologist and star of her eponymous show Dr. Honey: The Sweet Doctor of Death now showing on CRP-TV.
Cecelia DiLorenzo, owner of the Holy Crepe Bakery and Café and an honorable mention on t.v.’s Cupcake Combat!
In novel: Dr. Honey Hamms It Up
-
LETZ STRIP MALL
Shopping center for the less desirables.
In short story: “Cyril Just Wants to Be Heard”
In novel: Dr. Honey Hamms It Up
-
VISH’S FUNERAL HOME
Lovingly nick-named Joe Vish, due to his unpronounceable name of Ignjat Tsinamdzgvrishvili, this recent immigrant from the Republic of Georgia, just opened a beautiful Russian orthodox funeral home.
In novel: Dr. Honey Hamms It Up
-
SIRI’S FUNERAL HOME
Not only the only pet-and-owner crematorium in all of Hamm County, but the only United States location for an entirely green funeral (Ever dream of becoming one with a mighty pine tree after death? Our pal Siri Bjorkmann can make it happen for you!)
In novel: Dr. Honey Hamms It Up
-
COCKBURN FAMILY HOME
Family home of the infamous Cockburns, currently occupied by Tim Cockburn, his wife Vanessa, and their son Barney, after the death of paterfamilias Tony Cockburn. Tim runs the family business Cockburn Funeral Home, though the business is actually owned by his younger brother Dick “the slick” Cockburn. In other words, Tim does all the work, while Dick takes all the credit.
In novel: Dr. Honey Hamms It Up
-
BALTIMORE
Current home city of West Hamm native Dr. Honey Hayes, an assistant chief medical examiner at the Baltimore Medical Examiner’s Office. She also films her reality show Dr. Honey: The Sweet Doctor of Death here. Catch it on CRP-TV now!
In novel: Dr. Honey Hamms It Up
-
PHILADELPHIA
West Hamm is just thirty miles away from Philadelphia. But who needs the big city, when West Hamm is more than ready to meet all your cultural needs?
-
CORONER’S OFFICE
Actually a downtown office building, whose basement and first floors have been (not too thoughtfully) renovated to house the Hamm County coroner’s office. Current Hamm County coroner: Richard “Don’t Call Me Dick” Cockburn.
Place of employment for Barney Cockburn (Dick’s nephew), and Vanessa Cockburn (Dick’s sister-in-law)
In novel: Dr. Honey Hamms It Up
-
APARTMENT BUILDING
Hey ho! The latest in hip, vibing living, right here in West Hamm! Need a new place to jam? Be sure to check out the apartments in this renovated brownstone in historic downtown. Current occupants:
Dirk Delacroix, who is intrigued by the new occupants in the apartment above him: Meg and her young daughter Saire.
Cici Schmecklewitz, who is recently divorced and really just wants to cocoon, if only society would let her.
In short stories: “Dirk Versus the Turtle” and “Cici Accepts the Facts”
-
THE DUMPY DOG
Come on in to this happening night spot, where you can savor a smorgasbord of three different beers, and a choice of white or red wine. And be sure to be on the lookout for their music nights, highlighting such (once)famous bands as “Flock of Penguins” and “Simply Chartreuse”.
In novel: Dr. Honey Hamms It Up
-
PIG FARM
Just one of many area pig farms proud to call Hamm County home. Why not plan a vacation to the area and go on a local Pig Farm Tour? Fun for the kids, plus doggie bags galore.
-
WEST HAMM FIRE STATION
We are happy to announce Bob Nickelhoffer as the new fire chief and EMT! West Hamm City Council was pleased to lure Bob Nickelhoffer back to his childhood home to take up this challenging role to usher the city into a new era of fire safety.
In novel: Dr. Honey Hamms It Up
-
HAMM COUNTY FAIRGROUNDS
Proud home of the annual West Hamm Sausage Fête, now in its thirtieth year. Come on out to eat the world’s best weiners east of Lake Erie! You won’t be disappointed (and we’re pretty sure we got the number of port-a-potties right this time!)
In short story: “Dirk versus the Turtle”
-
THE BUTTERED BUNS
Forget Starbucks. West Hamm has the best coffee place around. Known for its frothy lattes and even frothier clientele, this place is frequented by the business elite of West Hamm (if there can be said to be such a thing).
In short stories: “For All the Marthas” and “Dirk Versus the Turtle”
-
THE LONG JUMP
The premiere location for all the area’s parachutists, the Long Jump has been in the business for a full six months, and will let anyone jump! Come on out for some fun (after signing your multi-page waiver) and see Hamm County as you’ve never seen it before! Also the site of Cici Schmecklewitz’s enlightening near-death experience.
In short story: “Cici Accepts the Facts”
-
FROSTY BOTTOM SKI RESORT
Don't let that name fool you! Sure, it's cold out on the slopes, but you'll be able to toast your buns in the resort's brand new lodge, built with authentically rusticated logs.
In short story: “Sippy Asks for Forgiveness”
-
THE BIJOU
This 'gem' of the downtown 'arts' district is the theatrical home of those ever-active West Hamm Players, the resident acting troupe.
-
BETHANY'S HOUSE
The home of Bethany, Hamm County's newest assistant district attorney, her artist husband, Scott, and their two children (whom Bethany loves with all her heart, she swears.).
In short story: “Bethany Gets Her Break”
-
EMILY'S HOUSE
The home of Emily and Brad Moynihan and their twins. Emily's determined to raise her kids right, though she's not exactly sure what that means.
In short story: “When It's Over, It's Over”
-
LIBRARY
Hamm County Library may be suffering from budgetary cutbacks, but you wouldn't know that based on energetic librarian Janet Brown's upbeat demeanor. Want to learn taxidermy? Or how about cockfighting? Janet and her mad reference skills will help you figure it all out.
In short story: “Cici Accepts the Facts”
-
HAMM HOSPITAL
Popped your top? Maimed a limb? Swallowed a birthday candle? Don't worry, Hamm Hospital is here to help.
-
A NEW LEAF
Check out West Hamm's used bookstore nonpareil, and turn over a new leaf with us!
-
THE GRUMPY GROCER
Foodies flock from thither and yon to this grocery store, run by the redoubtable Sir Humphrey Davenport of Beccles, England.
In short story: "Art and the Goldfish"
-
APARTMENT BUILDING
Known now as the Royal Purple, this apartment building has been acid green, cotton candy pink, and tangerine in the past. Aspiring tattoo artist Art recently moved here after his divorce.
In short story: "Art and the Goldfish"
d